i wish you would find me...i miss you.and i care bout you

Today i dreamt of something really crazy! i dreamt that i went out wif princess. if i remember correctly,i was doing things that he would not dislike.n he was the one that kwpt giving me the "face" yes there is a face. The most vivid part of the dream started at the arcade...

Labels: Happy birthday Nisaaa

Well...i broke up with him. He said he don't know if he still loves me or not... That was the sign for me to give up. Been through it before...like a "been there,done that"so ya...i did what i had to do. Im fine now.. Ive come up with a plan. His the first guy that i hate and im not going to talk to him ever again. I will only tell xiyu and u...

Labels: P...nes

My "boyfriend" is not talking to me..we've been having cold war for the past few days. i don't know whats wrong.it just doesnt feel the same anymore.dont feel the love anymore. My heart is just empty now..more of emotionless. i try not to think of us fighting and drifitng apart..it just hurts. and im tired of hurting. What he doesnt understand is how emotional i am. I cry if i watch a touching movie...even the i not stupid movie...they all have one thing in common. is how unappreciated and unloved they feel. i just feel that with him.

Labels: Emotional Wreck

well, its been a long time blog...but i realise now how important you are. you let me share things that i dont need to hide or cant say in public or even to my friends. So ya...i still love mansur.and it hurts really bad to see him with other girls even if friend only. im ready to let him go...but not ready to see him move on so quickly...but i dont want to talk bout him...

so now im STILL in school waiting for fitri..yeah, he still likes me. what can i do? i just treat him as a long time friend and we are just going on a friend's dinner/outing.you know...to catch up. im like so freaking tired now..and hungry..stay back after school, studied DE :D yeaah...so proud of myself.waiting for fitri...abit pissed coz he nv confirmed place to meet wif me and i waited and walked around everywhere.so boriiiiiing...

now im at south foodcourt, there's a new pizzeria here. the smell of the pizza..AWEEESOOOOMEEE.haha, can give you stomach-orgasm? haha. shall try it tml..if i can queue up to buy it. so fitri comiiing! must log out soon.dont want him 2 c my blog. shall talk to you again. CHOW!



loool...i thought he was coming...but i guess the performance still on.haha. im watching russell peters now! hoping to get some laughs so that i feel better after seeing mansur's picture with another girl...grrrr...so angry. so jealous...ya im admit it. im jealous... but its over now... haha k im laughing abit2 to russell oh n OH YA! TOK& LI !!!! this new malay drame/comedy. got hotstuff Ahmad Nabil!!! AHHHH! NOW HE REALLY TICKLES MY FUNNY BONE.haha.. i wish i could find someone like him...haiz...so ya im going to stay clear of guys until next year... ill find a steady boyfriend next year after my birthday.so for now, REJECT ALL GUYS, DONT BE SOFT AND DONT GIVE IN.hahaha...im a new me coz of mansur...and im liking it... :) k my batt is almost flat...i just hope it can last until fitri comes...byebye

SOOO much to think bout...family lah friends lah studies lah love...cleaning the house, buying carpet, keeping a secret that u noe u wan 2 let out coz u feel uve juz been betrayed bt u noe u cnt...

haiz.sometimes i wish ppl wont make stupid mistakes.seriously...please think before u speak.jgn ikut perasaan atau nafsu atau ikut kata org aje.dah ckp gitu abeh skrg menyesal.ckp dari hati lagi yg org percaya tapi akhirnya dia menjadi kata pura-pura...i knew this was going to happen...this just goes to show that they're all the same...and in the end we are the ones who have to understand...why do they always make life complicated.why do they give us scars that we dont want and are ashamed of...mayb the world will be better without the lot of them...haiz.hopefully i can forget whatever happen...but tell you something...things will never be the same again.u noe why? coz you made it awkward for me.dont find me again please.i dont want to face you anymore.

as for you...its enough.just stop it okey.cant you see what im doin?cant you see hw im avoiding you.coz to me...there isnt a problem anymore..its just you and what you cant accept.just face reality.ade pergi ade balik.maybe for all the mistakes you made inilah balasannya...jgn salahkn aku.i was just being a good fren that really treated you as an equal.i just have to sae...it was fun for the long run...

now you...im really down to my wits end now.i really need you to be here for me...

(p.s this post is not bout friends or family)

Labels: 46 days to go

so if you read the title above...thats the problem now .im sure everyone has the same dilemma .th question is"where to find the semangat?" when i look at my class,its like some of them dont even care or just dont want to put in effort.maybe they see themselves as hopeless.i hope they dont think thatway coz they're not hopeless,they'e just educationally challenged :)

ya,acually im kind of stress now.coz of studies especially,and some other small reasons.haven even started holiday hw xcept for math.is hard to follow he self-revision plan.soya,theres only one thing that can motivte me...remembering my gols and wat im aiming for!yeah,okey.looking at the big picture now.lets go!byebye

Labels: 47 DAYS TO GO

soooo...today i ''took care" of whatever issue i had.i just dont want to think bout it so much.so ya,its fun to relive all the fun stupid things we did in the past about relationships and current situation.i found my sister is in the exact situation as me.nisa and me share the same thoughts.today was okey.went to school with nisa...somebody paitao us.wahh...haha.go chem then hav 2hr break then go for physics then went home.now im watching video with my mum and sis.kind of bored coz the tv doesnt have anything interesting on...so we watch k-pop songs.right now im typing on my sis NEW laptop.touchscreen...wahh...tomorrow got school again.but i think tomorrow will have more fun.well,theres nothing more to say.life is just complicated and we're all just sad people... UNITED WE STAND,DIVIDED WE SLEEP...yeah."woool"...

i just want to say...i understand what you're doing.i just hope you're not lying to me.and whether you understand me too...good luck in everything :)

i just want to say...im sorry i over-reacted.aku terasa sebab some of the things you said were connected to me in one way or another.i just hope you understand.im really sorry about bursting out like that.i hope you'll forgive me and forget that this ever happened.



i just want to remember yusof ishak as my most happiest,funniest,wierdest and randomest years ever with the friends that i have made along the way...

its over.just to clear things out theres nothing going on.all of you juz step off.

okey.so whats up? haha im super happy today coz finally finish my course.feel like my heart jump n screamed YEAAAH! i also had fun with nisa.haha.do some housework around the place.haha.i liked today alot.its like a good day even though mdm hamidah scold us,eventhough teachers nag,eventhough we were all in a rush.but the feeling was so good that i cant explain.haha.got to spend time with jeremy n get to know more bout his personal life.the cute master also helped me with my contextual drawing.u know why i call him cute?? haha.coz he is!u should see his picture.haha.alif also helped me :) i reli appreciate it alot coz without them i wouldnt be able to finish up my contextual drawing on time.so ya,i dont know lah.like todays the best DNT lesson in all two years.for me lah.haha.

so now,im online.messaging sharmila, n izzul bout mt results.no,got nth lah.he just ask bout mt.im not shy or embarassed or afraid anymore. :) i know where my heart is now.i feel soo good right now.i feel like wan to blanje allll my frenz mkn kat restaurant.ALL.mcm kaye eh gitu.haha.but if ure reading this right,i forgot to tell you all that alif wan all malay students,4e3 4e4 especially to go buke together.confirm kecoh.haha.so yarh.date not fixed yet so just wait

dah lah.thats all i hav to say.muke dah panas.too excited aledi.wanna go enjoy tonights freedom n peace.bye!

Labels: word